Right On Time (Divine Time, That Is)

We live in a culture that is obsessed with instant gratification (and virtually 24/7 access to whatever we want).

And yet, sometimes the things we long for (and know in our deep heart to be true), actually take a long time to manifest.

Our nafs (or lower self) get so easily distracted and trick us into thinking that we must wrong or crazy, or not up to snuff, since we can’t “make” it happen, like yesterday.

We can get trapped into thinking it will never happen for us — getting ourselves all whipped up with worry, anxiety and self doubt — when in fact the thing we are moving towards is actually in play and we on the right track.

Has this ever been true for you?

My friend Mark Silver of Heart of Business recently shared a beautiful story about he and his wife Holly’s dream to live in an intentional community and the 20 years it took to them to find the right one, which inspired me to write this about my own experience of “waiting”…

14 years ago, I lost my beloved personal transformation partner, by way of suicide. 6 months after he left the physical plane, and on his birthday, his soul visited me, and called me on a life changing spiritual awakening journey.

While contemplating how to spend his birthday, I kept getting this intuition “to get in the car and go for a drive.” After much resistance, I finally got in the car, where I was lead out the Columbia Gorge to Eagle Creek, the same place he, at 18, began a 10 day coming-of-age-rite-of-passage-solo hike to Mt. Hood.

The experience — my real life hero’s journey — was life changing. In spite of the inner (and there were many), and outer obstacles (bad weather, downed trees blocking the path, etc.) that I met along the way, I managed to reach the top of the summit.

As I did, the clouds parted, a stream of sun filtered through and a beautiful rainbow connected the OR side of the Gorge to the WA side.

As I fell to my knees crying and thanking God for the miracle and power of the experience and the beauty I was witnessing, I heard this message.

“Thank yourself for having the courage to SHOW UP for it…”

As I was contemplating this, and taking it all in, an eagle swooned overhead as Jay said his final good-bye to me.

I’ve known since coming down off the mountain, that I would share my story (in a big way), and that the lessons I learned that day, and have been integrating into my life since, have powerful medicine for many who are suffering, feel lost or afraid to really show up for their own lives.

In many ways, I have been beating myself up for “not having it more together” so that I could get on stage and share the message, already!

However, in witnessing Mark’s faith & patience with his move back east, has brought my heart a profound transmission of love and healing. (Thank you!)

I know deep in my bones, that losing Jay — and the lesson I have been given along the way — are so incredibly valuable. And that, in His time, I WILL be on stage sharing my message and story with others.

The final stage of the Hero’s journey is: 


The hero returns home or continues the journey, bearing some element of the treasure that has the power to transform the world as the hero has been transformed.

These last 14 years are not a mark of my failings or shortcomings, more so they represent me, integrating the lessons, preparing to take this healing elixer out into the world, in a fully embodied way.

Mark, and his wife, Holly​’s story about finally meeting the opportunity that is allowing them to move back east to be closer to family, has been deeply inspiring to me and is something they have been waiting 21 years for.

Is there something you have been patiently (or anxiously) waiting for in your own life?



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