Opening to Receive & Boldly Taking What’s Yours
Most people I know, would much rather give than receive.
And yet, learning to ask for – and receiving – what is rightfully yours, is an essential component to building a happy life & sustainable business.
It is a requirement for creating healthy relationships, scaling your business, and thriving financially.
So why does receiving feel so hard?
I used to think that not having needs was holy.
Until a mentor of mine pointed out that by “not having needs”, and not asking for any of those needs to be met, that I was essentially left with nothing.
And he was right – I was in bad shape.
At the time, I was in an emotionally bankrupt marriage, I was battling regular episodes of chronic fatigue, migraines & fibromyalgia pain, my business was barely a “hobby” & I was completely overwhelmed with my duties as a parent.
It seems crazy now, but up until that moment, I really believed that “not needing” or putting my needs last, was a good thing.
Until, of course, you factor in real world needs like having a home & food to nourish our bodies, desiring closeness & intimacy with a partner, needing energy to build and sustain a business, plus all of the resources necessary to raise children, travel, and continue doing all the things I love…
It was a startling realization.
After he pointed it out, I began taking a deeper look into the pattern that led to me having a difficult time acknowledging my needs, asking for what I wanted, or receiving anything I didn’t feel I had rightfully earned, or worked really hard for.
What I discovered was an outdated familial belief system that said having needs made me weak and fundamentally wasn’t safe. And that there isn’t anything there for me anyway, so why bother asking
Self-reliance became my key to avoiding disappointment, rejection and getting hurt.
Or so I thought…
It actually had quite the opposite effect on my life, finances, happiness & health. I was depleted, and had lost touch with all the things that matter to me – Joy, Abundance, Freedom!
Luckily, my belief in a Generous and an Abundant God, and my Soul’s longing for Truth, is stronger than those old patterns.
I knew there must be an alternative to cutting myself off from the flow of life to stay safe, and living simply to avoid rejection.
Enter, the wisdom of my Shamanic Healer & the Divine Law of Reciprocity
“Imagine, a Mama Wolf,” she said. “See her and her pups standing right in front of you.
It’s feeding time. And the natural impulse within those pups is to push their way in, find their teat, and take what is theirs.
They don’t think about it, wonder if its safe, or worry about asking permission – they just eat, taking what is rightfully theirs!
“Only you’re not,” she said. “Instead, you are standing on the outside of the circle, waiting politely (and unselfishly) for the others to finish, so you can have what’s left over.”
All the while, not understanding that there is an engorged teat. Waiting. For. Me. Actually needing me to empty what is there, so it can be refilled & replenished.
When you open yourself up to RECEIVE and take what is rightfully yours, you enter into a reciprocal relationship with the universe.
A give and take, that builds on itself – an ever-expanding fill-your-cup-to-overflowing flow – that leads to more (energy, health, love, clients, creativity, finances) to give, which makes space for more come back, and so it goes, on and on, ever expansive, until the end of time.
Expanding your capacity to Receive
Learning to receive can be an incredibly tender thing. It requires of you absolutely honest about what you actually need and want. It touches into your deepest vulnerability and perceived need of safety. It also calls on you to be courageous, and sometimes outright BOLD in your ask. It also requires you take action and move towards the things you want.
And the more you say YES, and lean into this truth, the more you realize that there is a luscious engorged teat for the taking, filled with everything you have ever longed for, just waiting for you to nuzzle on in and take what’s yours!
- Simple practices to grow your capacity to receive:
The next time someone offers you a compliment, notice how you react. Do you deflect it? Downplay it? Brush it aside?
- What about when you go to brunch with a friend and he/she wants to pick up the tab. Do you insist on paying your half, or do you graciously accept?
- Are you comfortable having a sales conversation with clients, or are you constantly undervaluing your services and giving away your time?
- What about in your primary relationship? Are you comfortable asking for what you want or need, in the bedroom and out?
In order to truly receive, we must be seen.
We must let down our guard and be vulnerable to the truth that lives within us.